Member-only story

This is How Your Marriage Ends: A Summary of Matthew Fray's Book

Gary Cox

·18.6k Followers· Follow

Published in Summary Of Matthew Fray S This Is How Your Marriage Ends

5 min read · 2 weeks before

733 View Claps

43 Respond

Save

Listen

In his book, This is How Your Marriage Ends, Matthew Fray explores the common factors that lead to divorce. He draws from his own experiences and from the research of experts to provide a comprehensive guide to help couples avoid the pitfalls that can lead to the end of their marriage.

Summary of Matthew Fray's This Is How Your Marriage Ends

5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	1426 KB
Text-to-Speech	:	Enabled
Screen Reader	:	Supported
Enhanced typesetting	:	Enabled
Word Wise	:	Enabled
Print length	:	50 pages

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Fray identifies four key factors that he calls the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" that can predict the end of a marriage with 90% accuracy. These factors are:

Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling

Fray explains that these four factors are like a poison that can slowly erode a marriage over time. When couples engage in these behaviors, they create a negative cycle that can be very difficult to break.

Criticism

Criticism is when one partner attacks the other's character or personality. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as name-calling, blaming, or judging.

Criticism is destructive because it makes the other person feel defensive and attacked. It also creates a sense of distance between the two partners.

Defensiveness

Defensiveness is when one partner reacts to criticism by defending themselves or their actions. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as making excuses, blaming the other person, or counterattacking.

Defensiveness is destructive because it prevents the couple from having a productive conversation. It also makes the other person feel like they are not being heard.

Contempt

Contempt is when one partner expresses open disrespect for the other. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as rolling your eyes, making sarcastic comments, or belittling the other person.

Contempt is the most destructive of the Four Horsemen. It creates a sense of superiority and inferiority between the two partners. It also makes it impossible for the couple to have a healthy relationship.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling is when one partner refuses to communicate with the other. This can be done in a variety of ways, such as ignoring the other person, refusing to answer questions, or simply walking away.

Stonewalling is destructive because it prevents the couple from resolving their problems. It also creates a sense of isolation and loneliness for the other person.

How to Avoid the Four Horsemen

Fray provides a number of tips for how couples can avoid the Four Horsemen and build a healthy relationship. These tips include:

Communicating openly and honestly
Being respectful of each other's feelings
Avoiding criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling
Forgiving each other's mistakes
Spending quality time together
Working together as a team

This is How Your Marriage Ends is a valuable resource for couples who want to avoid divorce. Fray provides a clear and concise overview of the common factors that can lead to the end of a marriage, and he offers a number of practical tips for how couples can build a healthy relationship.

If you are concerned about the health of your marriage, I encourage you to read This is How Your Marriage Ends. It could save your marriage.

Free Download your copy of This is How Your Marriage Ends today!

Summary of Matthew Fray's This Is How Your Marriage Ends

5 out of 5